Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Broken for others

I had a picture during worship last night (at the young adult church service at Grace Center,  that I sat on for many minutes because I didn’t understand it. But I just pressed in pressed in pressed in, and asked, "what does this mean, Lord"? I had seen a picture of myself being cracked open like an egg, and the contents inside of me were cooked and became edible. It was a weird picture, but I FELT it’s importance to be HUGE. I kept thinking, "this is important , God wants me to get this – what it is it Lord"? Finally, it hit me, and it hit me BIG.  God had just given me a picture of the reason that I have been here in the U.S since October, and what it means for the future. As heaving sobs came over me, I realized this:
“I am being cracked open like an egg – my chest and body are being opened like an eggshell and whats inside of me is being released and is becoming usable and edible. I am being and have been broken in order to release the things God has put inside of me, and make them substantial – in order for them to be usable  or edible – I.e. my brokenness will lead to many being fed.  All the sacrifice and all that I’ve laid down is in order to save and feed those that I love. Oh what a beautiful sacrifice for my loved ones – oh that I could see some or ANY saved, healed, renewed, restored, and fed. Oh thank you Jesus that you’d break ME open for the sake of the ones that you love and you’ve caused me to love even with the loss of my life. Thank you Lord.
I think about the things that I’ve sacrificed in this season or in general.  I think of how I’ve sacrificed  comfort in knowing what I’m doing and when I’m doing and where I’m going, and what that may look like to people. That I’m laying down my ability to see Shyanna -My willingness to even lay down my rights to thinking or worrying over marriage. I think about how I was intentional to be here in the uncomfortable place with some of family relationships and jumped head–first into confronting our issues. I think of how I was available to love my friends that really needed me in this time well. I think of how I’ve taken a job that I don’t enjoy that looks on the outside like it’s going nowhere, and worked very early shifts. And how Ive stopped watching any television for the sake of focusing on Him.
And I felt during this encounter how much God loves these women. I forgot about the guilt I’ve felt for not being there or any responsibilities that I’d thought I had to them, and realized that I’ve actually been interceding for them with my life in this season.  I’ve lived a prophetic act of sacrifice, laying down my life for them, and allowing God to prepare me to bless them in a greater way. And God has made a big promise to me that because of my obedience and being broken open there will be greater breakthroughs for them. He has caused me to expect miracles and deliverance for them, and a stirring in the spirit; I can’t wait to see what the new season looks like.
If you’re wondering of practical things, when I’m leaving, etc., I unfortunately still can’t answer you (likely April). But this I know: I’m headed in exactly the direction God has pointed me.
I have been doing a study on communication by Danny silk. In it there’s a section on realizing your Visions statement and the goal of your life. I was greatly encouraged through the exercise to see that I’m on course for my life goals. Here is the mission statement the exercise helped me to come up with:
“My mission in life is to always be in a posture of worship at the Lord’s feet (this includes worship through art), and love the poor and unloved with art/creativity as my main instrument.”
God has made me a worshipper, and I feel and can see that I worship Him with my life. I can see that God has called me to not hold tightly to any goods or possessions in life, because of the fact that He will be taking me through many different countries. I am on course in that I don’t hold tightly to things, and have sold most of my larger possessions. I am going to continue to study art and have begun to worship the Lord with prophetic art for the first time. This is exciting, and I believe it will be an amazing new source of life for me and others. I am being prepared for being used, and I plan to continue to allow God to do what He needs to do to prepare me.
Thank you for loving me through this time, and I’m sorry for not sharing more often.  It’s been a nice time to just rest in the NOW, and so I haven’t been feeling like I’ve had much to share – though He is ALWAYS up to good things. Pretty much weekly, He is teaching me something and doing a work deep inside of me, Hallelujah!
- Please be praying as the Lord continues to strengthen me. I dont want to miss any opportunity for Him to go deeper or heal or prepare me. I'm realizing that when I get there, I'll pretty much have to hit the ground running, so I want to be fully ready when that day comes.
- I've been tryign to learn Portuguese and MAKUA (WOOO SO EXCITED!), and how to make jewelry out of coconuts. I feel that I don't really know what I'm doing with the coconut jewelry and can't seem to find anyone that knows much more than me either! But I can tell that there are easier ways to make items than I have been making them. So, I need help with that!
-  I believe that I am pretty close to my monthly goal for living in Pemba, as long as my monthly supporters are able to support during the time that I'm there, which is an INCREDIBLE blessing!!!!!!!! I am still planning on buying a bike and spending more money on internet while there, so pray that my costs will be lower than anticipated for those, so that I can freely use the money for blessing others by cooking for them, giving gifts, and having guests!!
- Please pray that I will continue to be more and more intimately close to the Lord and will take full advantage of the time I have here to have incredible quiet times with God. 
Love you guys, and I will continue to keep you updated - thank you for sticking with me through the lack of communication!

Email me if you'd like at Tcierpke@gmail.com
Financially support me at http://www.miraculouslove.com/tetra/

1 comment:

  1. Oh How I relate to so much of what you have so eloquently said thank you for laying down your life and sharing your heart!