Thursday, May 31, 2012

Dreams, Visions, prophetic words = GO TO PEMBA!

Hello everyone! God has been doing amazing things as usual. As you know, Im leaving in 2 weeks to go out of the country, starting with a trip with a chamber choir and orchestra that Im going to be singing with in Scandanavia, then followed by my retrun to Pemba, Mozambique where I’lll be continuing to teach Jewelry making to the widows and moms there, as well as begin a new and smaller class where we make jewelry out of coconut shells (a local resource yay!).
God has been doing a TON to get me prepared. I feel like every time I’m at church He is doing something life changing. I have a bunch of stories that I haven’t been sharing about what He’s been doing – and I wanted to share a couple. (Some of you may have been wondering what He’s been doing, because you’ve seen me at church wailing my guts out and looking pretty weird – well HERE’S THE EXPLANATION!!)

I’ll start with what happened this last weekend At the “More” Conference at Grace Center:
I went through a “fire tunnel” which is just a funny way of saying that a lot of people pray for you at one time, and it somehow ends up being way more impactful . I started feeling God’s presence incredibly strongly and it was overwhelming. I couldn’t walk after walking just part of the way through this line of prayers, and I my arms were  kind of faliling around uncontrollably! I had to get on the ground, and I felt like I was just being filled with electric shockwaves and It made me want to shout as loud as I could so that I wouldn’t just burst open! I noticed that the noises I was making sounded like I was in pain, almost like childbirth pains, but I wasn’t feeling any pain. I also felt like I HAD to take quick short breaths, also like in childbirth. It was definitely strange…but I’m getting used to how strange God can be when He brings me incredible breakthroughs and Revelations. Just like it was incredibly strange in the Pentecost for different languages to be spoken, flames of fire to be on their heads, and for people to think they were drunk even though it was 10 in the morning. I then had a picture in my head, and saw myself pregnant with a globe in my stomach. It was such a vivid picture. I heard the Lord say that I was pregnant with the Nations.

Then I saw a black child (in my mind’s eye). I heard the say the phrase: “THE FIRST OF MANY NATIONS”. And I knew that I was birthing Mozambique as the first of many Nations that God is calling me to.  This lines up with many things that God has said to me before, including : “You are God’s gypsy, and your people group are without border and without number.” (my friend Deb’s Ford said this when she prayed for me)…“Through your meekness you are inheriting the earth; Everywhere you go is your inhereitence, and you’re taking land”. (Jan Wigley) “I saw many world travels around the world –east to west, and north to south and kind up into – its going to be like deposits of culture and deposits of the divine” (David Wagner)  “I saw you running across the earth with children and people – you were wearing a dress with native shoes – and you were running across the earth in the dirt and the barren places bringing the love of Jesus and the heart of the Lord.” (Grace Center prophetic team)…”there is much ground that you are going to cover with the lord. And as you go through this territory…there are mutli colors all over you and as you walk the colors flow off of you. The Lord has given you these colors that are going to leave the mark where you’ve been; Where there’s been brown places with no color and its been barren, you will leave your mark -people are going to know the Lord, and that the colors of the lord are going to be left behind. (Grace Center prophetic team)”
 Mozambique, is mine and it's first of  my many nations!!! Hurray!!

The second thing I want to share, is a little more...strange and an intimate experience for me. But I think it's HUGE in my life. It's hard to find words for thnigs like this, but here goes:

A few weeks a go at church, we had an amazing night. The speaker,was talknig about being hungry for the Lord, and how she had felt as if her hunger had been fading, but recently God had stirred her up in a "personal revival". I related to this incredibly. she had us shout the words "Wakey wakey" over ourselves, even though it felt incredibly silly, it IMMEDIATELY affected me, and I felt like I was going to explode with god's presence. I started yelling the liudest I ever have in church and felt like I had to or I would just burst! Here is some of what I journaled the next morning - 

"I remember my complete lack of inhibitions when I spent 3 weeks at the revival in Kansas in 2010 and at my harvest school and ive forgotten that kind of inhibition. Im taking it back and claiming the childlikeness.
Last night I was able to do it for the first time since being in Iris culture – woooow. I realize that part of the thing that’s affected me has been not being in that culture. But also because of having to return to my “daily life” after the Harvest school, I can see that I was discouraged and disappointed by having to not let God do things in me due to my circumstances. This is why I have to stop having apologies for what God is doing in me. Heidi Baker doesn’t apologize for looking strange in her complete abandonment to loving the lord, and that’s why she’s so close to Him. This is what Im going to do too. No more apologies.
Last night I felt God's presence so incredibly, and got so much closer to heaven than I have EVER before.
 And I feel like I saw angels all around me. I was sooo close to seeing Him, and I even think I was in heaven.I had a memory of when I was in the prayer hut in Pemba and how I got really really close to heaven for the first time, close to a vision. And I started to feel that same way but a step further last night – I got sooo hungry for heaven and so close. I think I was there."

Soon after this yelling ensued, I started BAWLING. bawliong because I was hungry for the Lord and wanted more hunger and was so sad that anything would have cut me short from getting CLOSE to HIM! Here's an explanation of what was going on internally:

At first I just felt something breaking as if dullness were being torn a part and passions reignited (accompanied by yelling that was somewhat ridiculous). Then I just started having all of these realizations of how I've allowed things to affect me - disappointment, doubt, fear of man judgement. And God so stirred up my hunger as in the days of the beginning when I was falling in love with Jesus. And then I started to realize how much I was struggling with the awareness that people could hear me yelling and wailing my guts out and I had a false compassion on them - worrying that they would stumble because I was so strange. That I realized was really just a fear of man. I moved to the back of the roomso I could be less self conscious. Then I just really let it all out and lay down on the ground ground and just bawled and yelled and screamed and let God get to my depths and heal deep yuckyness. Then I started to have stirrings of seeing things in my minds eye.  I had to focus to see it, but I started to feel like I was in the throne room in heaven and I was aware of there being rows of something going a long distance on either side of the throne....I don't know or remember what it was., though I think it may have been angels or people at a table or something. And then I started to just feeeeeeel that I was closer to breaking through some of that invisible layer more than ever before, I was aware of angels around me. But I was focused on seeing Jesus. And I felt as if I sort of saw a void of a face for a moment . It was just brightness, but there was a face there. Did I see you God? How dare I discount that. Ahhhh! I saw you! I want more! But thank you! And at that point I did feel super overwhelmed and was bawling and gasping and taken aback. And I felt like when I was in front of the throne that my face was lifted up and I was kissed.  The cheek by Jesus. Wow. Then I was standing on an ocean and it was night. I felt it was the sea of glass. But it was night and there was incredibly bright shining moon. At one point that sea changed to a different sea and I saw an island at a distance still at night.
Then I saw myself sort of hovering over the ocean in Pemba with an angel on my left and right, and a bunch of angels above me and we were all focusing our attention on the church on the Pemba base, where we have our Jewelrymaking class and discipleship. Then I heard these phrases:
" You are dancing on the waters, and sing over the makua bride." (repeated over and over) then “paint and oil as blood and water paint and oil as blood and water” “Don’t be afraid I am with you I am with you I have prepared a place for you I have prepared a way through the wilderness”Then I heard Him tell me to put on new white robes, and that I am no longer a child, but an adult - a woman.
All these things are significant to me, though they may seem confusing.One thing to know is that my calling to teach and love the women in Pemba can be intimidating to me sometimes. This last part was AMAZING comfort from the Lord in this regard. The part about dancing over the waters and singing over hte Makua bride, I really think alludes to a prophetic word I had from David wagner last year:  "The Lord says, I put the same thing inside of you that’s inside of me that was present on the day of creation when I hovered over the earth – in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth...and the spirit of God hovered, and if you study the word hovered, youll find that one means that he danced over the earth, one means he flew over  the earth, one means he sat over the earth and one means he sung over the earth and all of it is CREATIVITY, and I just saw you hovering and dancing and skipping over things and then speaking the masterpiece into existence"

 AMAZING correlation, don't you think?? I sure do! I didn't think about it until a couple of days after, trying to figure out what that phrase and picture meant. 
Now, the blood and water like paint and oil, is a little more confusing. But here's what I think: Obviously blood and water is what came from Jesus' side on the cross and it symbolizes our sins being covered. God has been speaking a lot about painting (I paint with oil paints) recently. I want to try and do some painting with the women in Pemba when I'm there this time. I think God is emphasizing the HEALING nature that painting will have for these women. Or even the healing nature that there is simply when I paint.

So - that's as much as I can explain, I believe- other than the fact that I was so messed up in the best possible sense, after this experience. I couldn't walk that night, and my sister had to help me get to bed. It was such an intense and amazing experience, and I crossed a threshold of closeness to the lord and to heaven, that I've never crossed before!!!!

thank you for reading, and I hope it encourages you, as well excites you like it excites me, how much God is working on my behalf to show me that I'M GOING THE RIGHT DIRECTION!! He has truly called me to Pemba, and to do ART! COULD IT BE ANY MORE CLEAR? :)