Pemba tomorrow

Back to pemba tomorrow!! Can't really beleive it. HA! What a journey its been to return. Many of you know what sll its involved. Lots of healing, questioning, preparing, waiting, learning, trusting, and strengthening. But here it is! And Its a help to remember all the promises,dreams, visions, ideas and plans God has brought me to remind of the goodness He has prepared. Right now I'm in south Africa. Here's what I wrote yesterday. There's something about Johannesburg that really Brings something to life inside of me. I see the strange problems that are happening here: the black and white having obvious racism in daily life, the township homes that seem like a big cement/brick pile of tiny homes, and everywhere I've been, the workers are black and the buyers of goods etc are white. I don't know if it's because I come from the outside that it's so obviously a huge problem to me, or not. I know many see it as a problem. It's just strange how "progressive" our world can seem to be,until you see the same problems over and over. Of course we have similar problems in the U.S., but I guess at least pretend that we're tring to have equality. I know you can get used to horrible things after a while when you live around them. For example, it doesn't surprise me to hear about the women in Pemba having holes in their roofs, or one bed for themselves and 4 children. Of course I still feel compassion for these scenarios, but I sort of expect the awful truths. I wonder if that's what it's like for people here. To expect the black people to be mistreated. I've been intrigued by townships for years. When I think about them, it stirs something up in me...the desire to see what the culture is like in there, and to break down the separations betweeblack and white. Yesterday I was in a shop and this man was harshly repeating over and over to the black woman teller, "go faster, faster, I need you to go faster." with her ringing and bagging. She seemed to be trying as hard as she could be to move her hands as quickly as possible . She seemed more flustered snd accepting of hos behavior than i would have expected with such treatment, slmost as if she was accepting of his behavior. I looked at my teller and made at a face that would say, "really?!" and she didn't respond. But then I looked st her, said her name on her name tag and said, "Claudia, have a wonderful day." looking into her eyes, desiring that she knew that...that I know she is a person. She had an interesting reaction, she sort of did a "snap out of it" type of thing and looking at me as if she realized i was there, habing been slightly engrossed in what was happening next to her. She looked as if she understood i was sad and feeling compassion for the girl next to her, as well as wanting to break through some sort of barrier between worker and customer. I hope she could see that I was wanting to look through the Junk and just see a person. It was a lovely moment, in which I felt a lot happened under the surface. I had a word last year from David Wagner saying that he saw me being in south Africa in "Coming months" and that he saw me holding black hands and white together making a connection. So interesting that that word coincides with desires that I already have. Probably because God Was actually talking through David Wagner and already knew those desires were in me.  I don't kow how that word is going to happen, but maybe in the small ways that's interact with people and love them today it will.  I have the most amazing opportunity today!! I met an amazing woman yesterday named Juliette who has a booth in a market selling ahead woven jewelry it's her mom Esther ;wo apparently knows every stitch...!) oh Jesus, I fell in love with these two immediately. Very genuine people. Juliette had me sit down. Ext to her hole she was beading. I told her that I do this too. And that it so excited me to watch! And told her about teaching in Mozambique. She actually, then asked me if I would want to learn from her and her mother! I said .....um YES!!! She said that she does it often. And that I can sit and learn with them while they're selling. And that she would only charge 100 rand. Which is a little ore than 10 dollars. I said that's too little...because she was offering to teach from 830 to 5. !! For that little. So I said I'd pay her 200 rands, and that I would loooove to.  I'm on my way there now. ---That was yesterday. Today I'm hanging around trying t get ready for tomorrow. I've bought my bandsaw (YES!) and am haing a lot of trouble figuring out how to get it there, but I will. And I'm going t practice Makua, and try to spend a lot of time with God. Jewelry making yesterday was so amazing'!!!!!! Juliette's mother is the one who taught me everything, and she was such a fun woman. Ok, picture this...sitting in a market, next to a cute little woman whose main language is Zulu and therefore has the classic beautiful African accent ( pronouncing words like " seelva" instead of "silver"), behind us are all of the amazing NDBELE beading pieces that she sells, there aren't many customers so I get to see the real life's of the market stall owners - all chatting in Zulu, laughing, sharing their beans rice and chicken lunches. I learn a few words like thank you and hello (thank you sounds like cowabunga haha - its "ngyabunga") and also find out that word for learning is almost the same as in Makua ."ofunda". Her friends kept coming up to chat and I'd here them saying spring about me, learning, and I'd perk up and say "ofunda"! They'd laugh! Haha - you now me, I love using little words I learn to rattle people's cages and get them to know I care about their culture. It was launch a lovely time. Though my Mac started to really hurt after a few hours. I can forget to move when I'm really getting into something crafty. And I was looking down the whole time. Esther showed me sme tricks I hadn't known before, and I learned two stitches. Ahhh....what a great gift God gave me. As I head to Pemba tomorrow here are the things I feel: - a surreal feeling like I don't realllly understand that I'll be there. - excited to see my family of sorts there!! - nervous about...all that I've been through since last time and hoping anda believing thatGod really has prepared me to be ready to be on the Mission field again - excited about the coconut class - and somehow not feeling prepared as much as I think i "should" be for the amount of time I've been preparing to be there. A lost of those things are ridiculous. Would you please pray with me that I'll forget the ridiculous, and hold on to the truth and joy of Gods faithfulness? I realized something this morning: comparing how I feel now to how I felt when with my family for the last couple of weeks...I realize that I sort of feel like I'm "on my own". When with my dad and siblings, I know that I have a bad up of sorts if I have any problems, or even don't have enough provision...whatever, if I have any worries I felt safe and provided for. So how is it that I've forgotten that God does those things for me as well? I should actually feel no worried or anxieties if I wasn't living uner some lie that says I can't trust God to provided everything I need. I don't like that!! God, please restore to me a perfect trust in your goodness and faithfulness to me! I do haven't, I just have to chose it sometimes. And it's good that I realized that I wasn't..believing that right now! S0,I thank you for your prayers! I can't WAIT to hug all the amazing beautiful Friends waiting for me in Pemba Ahhh!!!!!! Filomena, victoria, Emilda, messiajse, here I come!!! Love you all Tetra